The day has been crazy. I have been going non-stop since 6am and it's almost 9pm now. The days just seem to blaze by as we go about our harried schedules. A couple things could have put me over the edge today, but thank you Jesus they didn't! After my yoga class my van would not start. The battery was absolutely empty, no juice, nada. Thank goodness we have A*A! Thank God I was not in the middle of trying to get kids to school, stranded in an intersection, or anything like that. I was at a comfy place where Avery and I could chill, eat lunch, and wait until help arrived. We are TWO payments away from a paid for vehicle and I am so excited!! I'm gonna keep this mom-moblie until I don't need a mom-mobile anymore. If the battery goes dead, fine, easy peasy I can handle that (just not in the middle of an intersection or trying to take kids to school. God is good.) I saw an SUV the other day that had a license plate that read NOMOVAN. I want that tag when it's my turn!
The other thing that can put me over the edge is problems with the washer or dryer - this weekend it was the washer. Normally, I might panic a bit and think of ALL the mounds of laundry I would have when the durn thing was finally fixed. But, this time, it was a gift from God. If we have to wear a couple of dirties here and there, so what. He was telling me to take a break from laundry! Have a little vacay! OK, he didn't say that in so many words, but I CHOSE to see it as a gift.
My old self would have been so stressed about car trouble or washer/dryer trouble. Am I maturing? Getting wiser? BAH! I'm just choosing to see the good in a situation. Maybe God has a little appointment with me and a repair person or someone along the way. I just gotta keep my heart open to stuff like that. Because I don't want to miss anything He's trying to tell me or show me. He's still growing me and I am so thankful that He's NOT done yet!
Monday, August 27, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Thoughts on a Birth Mother
Raising a child that was not born to us has been a very easy thing to do. I've had people ask me if it's hard to love a child you didn't give birth to (they thought that would be the hard part). I've loved this little girl since the idea came to me (thank you God) in the mid eighties when Ch*na began international adoptions. Avery is a gift, just like our biological children (Psalms 127:3), she could not be more 'ours!'
My heart, tears, and thoughts just about burst when I think of Avery's birth mother. There are so many variables that could have played a part in Avery becoming part of our family. I may never know the reasons behind her being found, brought to a safe place, being loved in her orphanage, through her heart repair, and then us finding each other. But, what I do know is that her birth mother chose life for her. It is a MIRACLE that we have her, my thoughts just can't quite grasp the pieces that fell into place to make her ours. Seriously. I've read books about what can happen to newborn girls in countries where boys are preferred (thankfully that is changing in Ch*na, but not near fast enough) and it is horrific. We KNOW Avery's birth mother loved her because she chose life for her. We can for sure share that with her.
Almost every night when I tuck Avery in bed, I pray for her birth mother. I want Avery to know that we think good of her, that we have faith that God is doing good things in her life, and that we hope to meet her someday if not here on this earth, then in heaven. I cannot wait to wrap my arms around that woman and tell her how much I love her. I pray a lot (not so much in front of Avery, some things she's not quite ready for) that her birth mother is not worried about her daughter (how could she not be?), that God will somehow let her know that the daughter she gave birth to is very much loved, happy, healthy, and thriving! God will do that for me, I know he will! I just wish I could be there when He does tell her! I wish I knew her name, how she lives - what does she do with her days, where does she live, what that day was like when she chose a better life for her daughter. I pray that she doesn't relive that moment when she saw her daughter for the last time over and over. What would I have done had I been in her shoes? It is a different world over there with different ideas (changing slowly for the better) that began many years ago. Us westerners have no idea what it's like to live in a country like our beloved Ch*na. It is not easy for women there.
What would I say to her after I have hugged and sobbed with her? I would tell her that I love her and that I am so grateful for her. That Avery loves her and is thankful for how her life turned out. That she is healthy, happy, LOUD, loves to sing, dance, and jump around. That she has a family with brothers, sisters, two parents, and dogs that adore her. That her extended family thinks she's pretty great. That she is being raised to respect and love her birth mother and birth father. That she loves and knows who Jesus is. That she's beautiful and loving. That she has beautiful skin and straight, black hair, and the most beautiful Asian eyes. My heart hurts for her birth mother that she can not be a huge part of her life and see what a wonderful life she has been given and given to us!
One day, I KNOW, I will be able to meet her. I just know that God knows that desire in my heart and He will answer that. God is good.
My heart, tears, and thoughts just about burst when I think of Avery's birth mother. There are so many variables that could have played a part in Avery becoming part of our family. I may never know the reasons behind her being found, brought to a safe place, being loved in her orphanage, through her heart repair, and then us finding each other. But, what I do know is that her birth mother chose life for her. It is a MIRACLE that we have her, my thoughts just can't quite grasp the pieces that fell into place to make her ours. Seriously. I've read books about what can happen to newborn girls in countries where boys are preferred (thankfully that is changing in Ch*na, but not near fast enough) and it is horrific. We KNOW Avery's birth mother loved her because she chose life for her. We can for sure share that with her.
Almost every night when I tuck Avery in bed, I pray for her birth mother. I want Avery to know that we think good of her, that we have faith that God is doing good things in her life, and that we hope to meet her someday if not here on this earth, then in heaven. I cannot wait to wrap my arms around that woman and tell her how much I love her. I pray a lot (not so much in front of Avery, some things she's not quite ready for) that her birth mother is not worried about her daughter (how could she not be?), that God will somehow let her know that the daughter she gave birth to is very much loved, happy, healthy, and thriving! God will do that for me, I know he will! I just wish I could be there when He does tell her! I wish I knew her name, how she lives - what does she do with her days, where does she live, what that day was like when she chose a better life for her daughter. I pray that she doesn't relive that moment when she saw her daughter for the last time over and over. What would I have done had I been in her shoes? It is a different world over there with different ideas (changing slowly for the better) that began many years ago. Us westerners have no idea what it's like to live in a country like our beloved Ch*na. It is not easy for women there.
What would I say to her after I have hugged and sobbed with her? I would tell her that I love her and that I am so grateful for her. That Avery loves her and is thankful for how her life turned out. That she is healthy, happy, LOUD, loves to sing, dance, and jump around. That she has a family with brothers, sisters, two parents, and dogs that adore her. That her extended family thinks she's pretty great. That she is being raised to respect and love her birth mother and birth father. That she loves and knows who Jesus is. That she's beautiful and loving. That she has beautiful skin and straight, black hair, and the most beautiful Asian eyes. My heart hurts for her birth mother that she can not be a huge part of her life and see what a wonderful life she has been given and given to us!
One day, I KNOW, I will be able to meet her. I just know that God knows that desire in my heart and He will answer that. God is good.
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